…. as I pondered weak and weary…
Next to financial concerns, no single issue causes more arguments in a relationship than sex… or rather, lack thereof. Chances are that if you’re reading this article you know all too well the impact your waning libido has had on your relationship. You’re probably also tired of hearing your doctor tell you “it’s all in your mind.” Regardless of what you may have been told, or what you’re almost starting to believe, you know you’re not crazy… you clearly remember having a great sex life prior to menopause. You do remember that, don’t you? So what happened to your libido?
First of all, many complex issues surround our sexual desires and thoughts that help to define the libido. Getting to the root of the problem would be your first step. Is it truly a lack of interest or is it anger, resentment or negative messages your partner may be giving to you… or even negative images you may have of yourself? Is the lack of desire only at certain times, perhaps at the end of a long and stressful day? Or is it 24/7? Is there a medical condition which requires certain prescription drugs that may be causing the problem?
If you have ruled out all these possibilities, are elsewise perfectly healthy, and if you think the problem might be related to menopause, or peri-menopause, then you’re probably right. In which case, the problem’s not in your mind, it’s in your hormones. The good news is that libido doesn’t automatically crash and burn during menopause so there is hope for getting back your sex-drive again.
Fantasy Island….
Libido, or sexual desire, means more than how many times a week you have sex or whether or not you reach orgasm. The very essence of not having a libido means that you’re no longer thinking about sex, fantasizing about sex and have no awareness of a need for sexual release because there is no “sexual tension” to be released. It also means that you have little concern over the loss of libido and it doesn’t matter to you one way or the other if it’s ever restored.
For those who would like to restore their libido, it helps to have a healthy lifestyle, proper diet and exercise, and a loving (and very patient) partner. But even with all that, like it or not, you’re going to need sort of hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Our sex hormones determine our sexual experience. The key is finding the right HRT for your body, mind and soul. A good starting point to finding out which HRT program is right for you is to pick up a copy of “You’re Not Crazy, It’s Your Hormones,” by Dr. Larrian Gillespie.
The Testosterone Factor…
Now that you know that you may have a need for HRT, the question becomes; Which hormones do I need and why do I need them?
Estrogen has made plenty of health headlines, and controversial ones at that. We know that estrogen plays a part in our sex-drive, and an estrogen deficiency also impairs sexual response, but estrogen replacement alone will not improve sexual response and may exacerbate the problem from androgen loss. (1) Testosterone, which has been shown to be most closely associated with sex-drive, may also be needed.
“Testosterone?… for Women?” you’re asking right about now. Yes indeed. The ovaries produce this important metabolic and sex hormone throughout a woman’s lifetime. Since testosterone levels can and do change at different times in life a reduction in this particular hormone during menopause (and perimenopause) can cause changes in sexual desire and response.(2) Testosterone replacement /supplementation may be appropriate in a small percentage of women, mostly those who have felt sexual desire, no longer have that desire and would like to get it back again.(3)
To Tell The Truth…
Menopause and the natural aging process involves many normal physical changes from loss of hair to weight gain, and some changes naturally affect sexuality. During menopause, women may experience a variety of conditions that cause changes in sexual function. These changes include diminished sexual responsiveness, dyspareunia (painful intercourse related to estrogen deficiency), decreased sexual activity, decreased desire, a dysfunctional male partner, or lack of a partner.(4) The simple truth is, all of these natural changes can be easily managed with alternative and conventional therapies.
REFERENCES:
1) DeCherney AH. Hormone receptors and sexuality in the human female. J Womens Health Gend Based Med. 2000;9 Suppl 1:S9-13.
2) Davis SR. Androgen replacement in women: a commentary. J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 1999 Jun;84(6):1886-91.
3) Sarrel PM. Effects of hormone replacement therapy on sexual psychophysiology and behavior in postmenopause. J Womens Health Gend Based Med. 2000;9 Suppl 1:S25-32.
4) Kingsberg SA. Postmenopausal sexual functioning: a case study. Int J Fertil Womens Med. 1998 Mar-Apr;43(2):122-8
