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    Unknown Universal Laws That Are Kind of True

    July 2008 | Filed under Irreverent Pastiche

    Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    Law of Variation: If you change lines, or traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you’re now in.

    Law of Results: When you try to prove to someone that something wont work; it will.

    Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.

    Law of Public Speaking: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

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