Alternative Therapies Forum Index Alternative Therapies

 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Humor

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Alternative Therapies Forum Index -> Need a good laugh?
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Tracer
Assistant Host


Joined: 27 Apr 2004
Posts: 476
Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 6:53 p    Post subject: Humor Reply with quote

PALM SUNDAY
IT WAS PALM SUNDAY AND, BECAUSE OF A SORE THROAT, FIVE-YEAR-OLD
JOHNNY STAYED HOME FROM CHURCH WITH A SITTER. WHEN THE FAMILY
RETURNED HOME, THEY WERE CARRYING SEVERAL PALM BRANCHES. THE BOY
ASKED WHAT THEY WERE FOR. "PEOPLE HELD THEM OVER JESUS' HEAD AS HE
WALKED BY."
"WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT," THE BOY FUMED, "THE ONE SUNDAY I DON'T
GO, HE SHOWS UP!"


CHILDREN'S SERMON:
ONE EASTER SUNDAY MORNING AS THE MINISTER WAS PREACHING THE
CHILDREN'S SERMON, HE REACHED INTO HIS BAG OF PROPS AND PULLED OUT
AN EGG. HE POINTED! AT THE EGG AND ASKED THE CHILDREN, "WHAT'S IN
HERE?" "I KNOW!" A LITTLE BOY EXCLAIMED "PANTYHOSE!"


SUPPORT A FAMILY:
THE PROSPECTIVE FATHER-IN-LAW ASKED, "YOUNG MAN, CAN YOU SUPPORT A
FAMILY?"
THE SURPRISED GROOM-TO-BE REPLIED, "WELL, NO. I WAS JUST PLANNING
TO SUPPORT YOUR DAUGHTER. THE REST OF YOU WILL HAVE TO FEND FOR
YOURSELVES."


GRANDMA'S AGE:
LITTLE JOHNNY ASKED HIS GRANDMA HOW OLD SHE WAS.
GRANDMA ANSWERED, "39 AND HOLDING."
JOHNNY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SAID, "AND HOW OLD WOULD YOU
BE IF YOU LET GO?"


FIRST TIME USHERS:
A LITTLE BOY IN CHURCH FOR THE FIRST TIME WATCHED AS THE USHERS
PASSED AROUND THE OFFERING PLATES.
WHEN THEY CAME NEAR HIS PEW, THE BOY SAID LOUDLY, "DON'T PAY FOR
ME DADDY. I'M UNDER FIVE."


PRAYERS:!
THE SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER ASKED, "NOW, JOHNNY, TELL ME, DO YOU SAY
PRAYERS BEFORE EATING?" "NO SIR," HE REPLIED, "WE DON'T HAVE TO.
MY MOM IS A GOOD COOK!"

CLIMB THE WALLS:
"OH, I SURE AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU," THE LITTLE BOY SAID TO HIS
GRANDMOTHER ON HIS MOTHER'S SIDE. "NOW MAYBE DADDY WILL DO THE
TRICK
HE HAS BEEN PROMISING US."
THE GRANDMOTHER WAS CURIOUS. "WHAT TRICK IS THAT?" SHE ASKED.
"I HEARD HIM TELL MOMMY THAT HE WOULD CLIMB THE WALLS IF YOU CAME
TO VISIT" THE LITTLE BOY ANSWERED.


THE WATER PISTOL:
WHEN MY THREE-YEAR-OLD SON OPENED THE BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM HIS
GRANDMOTHER, HE DISCOVERED A WATER PISTOL.. HE SQUEALED WITH
DELIGHT
AND HEADED FOR THE NEAREST SINK.
I WAS NOT SO PLEASED. I TURNED TO MOM AND SAID, "I'M SURPRISED AT
YOU. DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO DRIVE YOU CRAZY WITH WATER
GUNS?"
MOM SMILED AND THEN REPLIED..... "I REMEMBER."


LIFE AFTER DEATH:
"DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?" THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS
EMPLOYEES.
"YES, SIR," THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED.
"WELL, THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE," THE BOSS WENT ON.
"AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S
FUNERAL,
SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Lil'Emu



Joined: 24 Apr 2004
Posts: 70
Location: Calgary, AB

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 2:33 p    Post subject: Reply with quote

oohhhhhhhhh gurl, they are soooooo funny! Great jokes Tracer. Tanx for the laugh Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Alternative Therapies Forum Index -> Need a good laugh? All times are GMT - 12 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You can post new topics in this forum
You can reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



Powered by phpBB 2.0.6 © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group

RETURN TO HealingDeva Web Site