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Headlines For The Year 2029

 
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Tracer
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Joined: 27 Apr 2004
Posts: 476
Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2005 2:22 p    Post subject: Headlines For The Year 2029 Reply with quote

Subject: Headlines For The Year 2029

* Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the
seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as
California.

* Couple petitions court to reinstate idiot marriage.

* Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory
of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and
Lebanon).

* Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least
10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

* France pleads for global help after being over taken by Jamaica.

* Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

* George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

* Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

* 85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the keys to
weight loss.

* Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

* Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

* Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

* Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil
rights.

* Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

* New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

* Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts.

* IRS sets lowest tax rate at 82.7 percent.

* Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
livestock.

* Baby conceived naturally . . scientists stumped.

* Florida voters still don't know how to use a voting machine.
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FishBulb500



Joined: 13 Jun 2004
Posts: 16
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 1:52 p    Post subject: Reply with quote

* New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAHHHH! AAAHHHH!!

Oh I have to stop laughing! Oh God!
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