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Preferred Reading List

 
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Elfin



Joined: 23 Apr 2004
Posts: 31
Location: No. Calif.

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2004 1:23 pm    Post subject: Preferred Reading List Reply with quote

A Preferred Reading List
of Little Known New Age Literature
Irreverently Written and Composed
by Joseph Jochmans

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The Aquarium Gospels of Jacques the Cousteau, by Levi and Strauss

The Opening of the Clown Chakra, by Swami Farbeyondananda

The New and Used Testaments, including the Gossip According to Saint Germane

Canceling Psychic Predictions Due to Unforeseen Circumstances, by Jeanne Mason-Dixon

Biofeedback Prevention...Overcoming Peace of Mind, by the Out-of-Brain / Mind Bull-etin

Karma Krunchies...Reaching into the Bag of Life and Pulling Out the Same Chip, by Miso Frito Ley-Line

There's a Sucker "Born Again" Every Minute, by P. T. Falwell

Out on a Lamb...Prancing in the Blinding Light, by Surly Big Mac Lain

Ramparktha...Story of a 35,000 Year Old Hindu God Who Discovered Hollywood, by Kray Z Fly-by-Knight

Pharoah-Bics...Exercising Your Way to Mummification, by Jane Fonda Farewell

Atlantis and Lemuria...How to Make Fast Money in Real Estate, by Rudolf the Red-Nosed Steiner

The Ten Absolutes to Spiritual Freedom...Finding your God in Someone Else, by Swami Kissmyananda

The Egyptian Book of Dead Jokes, by Pharoah Hohohotep of the 16th Dynasty rerun, translated by E. A. Wallet Bulge

Silver Cord Extensions for Long Distance Astral Travel, by C. W. Bedwetter

Everybody Needs Samadhi Sometime, by Paramahanna Yogananda Parlen-voua?

Master Cute Humi Speaks on the Obssene Gospels, by Elizabeth Cleared Profit

Readings From the Ashkanic Records, The Great Circular Files of the Etheric Planes, by H. P. Bladdervatsky

Nirvana Nervosa...Dieting to Higher Consciousness, by Oedipus Anerexia

Foot Refriedology...Healing Through Fire-Walk Massage, by Dr. Tredsoftly

The Perishables of Christ, by Torkum Serendipity

New Age Video Games, by Avatari, including: Tarot Pac-Man, Donkey-Tai Chi and Battlestar EST

The Midget Psychic Who Escaped from Prison, by a Small Medium at Large

The Maple Leaf Raga, by Scott Ravi Shankar Joplin

Past Life Savings and Loans, by Rajneesh Baksheesh

Training Seeing Third-Eye Dogs for the Psychically Blind, by Alistaire Growley of the Old and Drawn Society

Let Us Hold Hands and Contact the Living, by Sybil Sleek

Black Money-Belt Karate and Acu-Punching, by Mohammed Ali Babaji


I Never Metaphysics I Didn't Like, by Hello Dali Lama

Cosmic Unconsciousness...When The Lights Are On But Nobody's Home, by Dione Misfortune

Here Today, Sodom Gomorrah, by Billy Graham Bell

Uranus Rising to Full Moon...Hindsight Astrology Exposed, by Great Dane Rude-Year

The Book of the Whoopi...Take Two Medicine Wheels and Call Me in the Morning, by Rolling Sun and Bear Thunder

The Pearl of Great Price, Now on Sale at Great Savings, by Bringham Young and his All Wife Band

Silver Dollar Mind Control, by Jose Hi Ho Silva

Death Before Dying...Crossing the River Styx Without a Paddle, by Elizabeth Kublai-Khan-Ross

Beyond Fire Walking...Huna Lava Surfing, by Maximum Freedom Short

New Age Hypno-Therapy...Does the Name Pavlov Ring a Bell?, by Sigmund Jung Supthen

Drop-Ins and Walk-Outs...Seeking an In-the-Body Experience, by Ruth Montgomery Ward and Carol Perished-Hurrah

The Bigfat-Gita...Sacred Hindu Texts of Krishna's Teachings in Brooklyn

Tibetan Break-Jogging and the Shamballa Kabala, by T. Hopalong Rampa

The Excedrin Headache #5 of Oversoul #7, by Jane Oral Roberts

Your Taurus Horroscope...Between the Horns of Dilemma is a Lot of Bull, by Zolar Dollar Sun Signs

You Take My Wife, Pleiades...A Close Encounter of the Not-Too-Sirius King, by Spaced Brother Hilarius of the Ozone Ranger Command

Solar Initiations of the Third Ray on the Sixth Floor of the One Hundred and Twenty-Eighth Street Building, Suite 46A, by Alice Cooper Bailey and the Lucid Trust Me

Bonehenge Decoded and the Deja Vu Over Atlantis...Dowsing for Waylaid-Lines and Hibernating Druids, by John Michellob

HaHa Yoga...Life's a Joke and You're the Punchline, by Swami Pollyannananda

Secrets of the Keystone Coptic Brotherhood, by Hermes Tre-me-get-the-gift-of-this, Master of Rockti Shakti Crystal Power and the Ephemeral Tablets

I Think, Therefore I Ching, the Chinese Book of Small Change, by Tau Jones Industrials

Opening the Third Ear...Listening to People Talk Behind Your Back, by Vera Stanley Livingston Idler

Disintegrated Awareness Techniques...Developing Your Telepathic Powers, by Connie Issac Wayne Fig Newton

The Teachings of Don in the John, by Careless Castenetta

Hare-Back...Initiations of a Young Egyptian in the Left Ear of the Sphinx, by Isha Swallow de Lubejob

Om, Om on the Range...Spectrum Sweet From Inside Mount Everest, by Steve Halpert and the Tibetan Brass

Agony Yoga and the Kundalini Kick...Getting the Cosmic Boot in the Root, by Sr. Bindu Spinefire, certified Cairo-practor and Gyne-Numer-Irid-ologist

Life and Teachings of the Mistresses of the Wild West, by Swami Crayolananda

Meditation While you Sleep...Manifesting Your Realities Into Dreams, by Guru Sigh Baba Gnu

The Grossly Overpriced Oversized Enclyclopedia of Crushedrosian, Hermetically-Sealed, Freemasonjarian, Alcomical and Pithygorean Esoteric Wisdom, by Mainly Pied Hall

A Course in Miracle Whip...Manifesting Salad State Consciousness, by Judith Skutch Tape

Karmic Alimony...The Dangers of Past Wife Regression, by Bounty on the Mutiny

The Recalcitrant Messiah, God Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnibored, by Richard J. S. Botched

The Spiritual Warrior Gone Berserk...Placing Your Etheric Phasers on Slaughter, by the Beige Brotherhood

Carwash of the Gods...Evidence of Extraterrestrial Tourism, by Karmapa and Erich von Manniken

The Hundredth Retelling of the Hundredth Monkey Story, by Kenneth Keyholes

The Prophet Hobbit...Lord of the Wringed Poetry, by Killed Cliche Gibran Tolkein

Megaton Vitamins and Microbionic Cooking...Fifty Thousand Flies Can't Be Wrong, by Dr. Asa Rol

The Secrets of Flounderhorn...Talks With the Kleenex Devas, by Peter and Eileen Caddyshack

My Night in the Egyptian Hall of Records Without a Record Player, by Dr. Appalled Blunton

Edgar Cantsee...The Sleeping Profit Margin, by Jest Astern

Secret of the Great Pyramid...Built with Tofu Blocks and Tahini Sauce, by Peter Tombkins

Teachings of the Great Off-White Brotherhood, by Annie Oakly Besant

The Not-So-Great Planet Earth...Therapy Ward for the Universe, by Lind Halsey

Hari Kari for the New Age, or How To OD on Enditol, by Swami Mai TymesUp

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Copyright 1985, by Joseph Jochmans, the Happy Hierophant,
with permission to reprint whenever needed to Lighten Up the Light.

HE WHO LAUGHS, LASTS!
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Tracer



Joined: 27 Apr 2004
Posts: 159
Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2004 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

LMAO!!!!! Oh my....I am way behind on my reading...LOL!!!! These are great!!
Nice to see you around woof woof
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