HealingDeva.com

[Lil'Emu]

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it going to be the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the Chrysler eagle to the Chrysler beagle?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God; We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good dog:

* I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they
throw it up.
* I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc, just because
I like the way they smell.
* I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box;
although they are tasty, they are not food.
* The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
* The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mommy and Daddy's laps.
* The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
* My head does not belong in the refrigerator or toilet.
* I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for
Mommy's drivers license and registration.
* I will not play tug of war with Daddy's underwear when he is on the toilet.
* Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.
* I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
* I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
* I will not throw up in the car.
* I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
* I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
crotch when company is over.
* The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he
makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And finally, my last question: Dear God, when I get to heaven, may I have my testicles back?

[Terri R.]

some of these are funny, and some are..... well..... EEEeeeewwwwwww grosssss!!!

Terri

[Lil'Emu]

Hi Terri,

Glad you chuckled and sad you UGH'ed!!!

How ya be gurl? Hope all is well wif ya....Happy Wednesday

[Terri R.]

Like everyone else, I've been busy with off line life... same stuff, different day.