HealingDeva.com

[Terri R.]

A rapport building method common to NLP, hypnosis, and many other healing modalities is mirroring. With this, the therapist subtly mimics the client's movement (often breathing) to sort of get into sync with them, and then can lead them into a more relaxed state.

This is something you might find helpful in not just formal healing practice, but when calming anyone who is upset, for instance,
Choose one or more movements to mirror. Breathing is usually good, especially if it is too rapid! once you are in sync, then slow yours. They will often follow!

An article from NFNLP discusses the possible science behind mirroring.
Something to think about ....... MIRRORING!

There have been a lot of theories as to why Mirroring someone develops rapport. Some have said it makes the person feel like they are looking at a subconscious mirror of themselves. Recent studies may help explain why Mirroring someone physically makes them feel comfortable. When you look at the human brain, there is an area, the ventral pre-motor area, that houses neurons that are called mirror neurons, or "monkey see, monkey do" neurons. Dr. Giacomo Rizzolatti of the University of Parma found in his research that any cell in this area will fire when a test monkey performs a single, highly specific action with his hand, like pulling, pushing, tugging, picking up, grasping something, etc. It appears, according to Dr. Rizzolatti findings, that different neurons fire in response to different actions.

One might be led to think that these are command motor neurons, making certain muscles do certain specific actions. The amazing truth is that any given mirror neuron will also fire when the monkey being watched, observes another monkey, or even the experimenter, performing the same action. Think of the power of this finding. This may be one of the key reasons why when you're in rapport with someone, you have a tendency to perform the same movements. You are firing the same neurons in your brains.

With this new knowledge of these neurons and brain actions, we may have the start of the basis for decoding the aspects of the human mind that have thus far eluded us. Things like "mind reading", imitation learning, empathy, and intentionally, maybe even the basis of language. So when it comes to our rapport usage of physically mirroring someone's physical movements, when you watch some else doing something, or even starting to do it, the corresponding mirror neurons fire in your brain. This may allow you to read and understand anther's intentions. So there may be a true physical basis of "stepping into another's movements", which opens up stepping into their mental mindset.

This comes from the work of Dr. Vilayanur Ramachandran, of the University of California-San Diego, in an article in New Scientist. He studied three patients with Anosognosia. They all denied that their left arms were paralyzed, when it was obviously the case. It was found that two of these three also denied the paralysis of another patient whose arm was clearly visible to them. It is thought that this strange observation can be best understood in terms of damage to Rizzolatti's mirror neurons.

Dr. Ramachandran and Dr. Eric Altschuler have studied brain waves associated with arm movements in normal subjects. These brain waves are normally suppressed when the subject begins any voluntary movement, but they now find they are also surprised when the subject watches another performing actions. This leads to the questions, could these brain waves reflect the activity of the mirror neuron systems?

The next time you are mirroring someone to get into rapport, think about the fact you may be mirroring his or her brain wave patterns! This may explain why when you get into deep rapport, you seem to step into their heads.

[Terri R.]

Here is another excerpt from an NLP e-zine (no copyright problems, Terri)
This one seems very apropo for a lot of people.
Enjoy.
NLP TODAY E-zine
December 2001

Something to think about ...... NLP Technique - How to Mend a Broken Heart ........ from Dr. Wil Horton
http://www.nfnlp.com and http://www.nlptoday.com

Intro to NLP Today E-Zine

NLP Today E-Zine is a bi-monthly series of articles that will bring you the latest cutting edge information in the world of NLP and Hypnosis. We will bring you articles that are heavy with techniques and information you can use in your daily life, whether it's as a therapist with clients, business or sales, or just for self-development. We will get you the information you want and can't get. This is a service of the National Federation of Neuro Linguistic Psychology and Dr. Wil Horton. We want people to achieve their highest potential, and NLP is the #1 tool for this. If you feel you have been added to this list in error, check out an issue, then let us know if you would like to be removed. You can achieve your dreams.

How to Mend a Broken Heart
Wil Horton, Psy. D.

Recently I have received several calls from people wanting tips on helping others who are in bad straights from failed relationships. They want to know how to help their clients. There are times when it is hard to let go of a failed or terminated relationship. It is at these times that our conscious mind cannot override these deep feelings. It may be even more painful on special days such as anniversaries or birthdays, and most often, the holiday season. When I have a client in this situation I use a version of the phobia technique, which I jazzed up, called Mending a Broken Heart Process.

This technique is not only for love relationships, but friendships or situations that hold a great deal of emotion. A job loss is an example that can be categorized as a broken relationship. When many people lose their jobs (as in the current downsizing economy) they go through more of these grieving/loss feelings than most people realize.

How can we help these people to naturally overcome this grieving/loss experience? I think we can use our tools to speed up the natural process. Have the person think of someone they used to be in a relationship with but now they have no feelings for, maybe a high school love, or an old friend who now is out of his/her life.

The first time I used this I was pleasantly surprised at how well it worked. I had a weight loss client, who appeared very down at one of her follow up sessions, When I inquired into this she told me of her recent break-up with her boyfriend. (I knew from previous conversations that this was an ongoing on again/ off again relationship). I asked her if she would like to be rid of her strong attachment to this relationship, she answered quickly, "YES!" So I walked her through this "How to Mend a Broken Heart" process. I made a note to do a follow-up on her next visit.

Later when she returned I asked her what had happened following our session. She told me the following. "I felt fine after our session but a couple of days later he called and wanted to talk. I told him no. The next day he sent flowers to my work, and called me. I was not interested. The following day he showed up at work with more flowers and a ring. I thought about the past relationship and decided I did not want to get back on the merry-go-round. It was strange. Everything he had just done, the flowers, the calls, and especially the ring, would have swayed me before. Now I felt an emotional distance between us. I finally felt confident in my decision to permanently end the relationship.

At this point I asked her if she would like her attachment for him back, since we could install that, she laughed and said no. The moral, make sure they want to remove the strong feelings.

Here are the steps.

First we must acknowledge the protection process involved.
The part of you that has been protecting you all these years by making you feel bad is an important and valuable part. We want to preserve its ability to protect you in future situations. The purpose of this technique is to refine and improve your brain's ability to protect you by updating its information. We will not remove the memories, just the strong emotional response.

1. With your eyes open or closed, imagine you're sitting in the middle of a movie theater and you see a black and white snapshot of yourself on the screen.

2. Now, float out of your body and up into the projection booth. See yourself sitting in the movie theater seat, and you notice the black and white photo on the screen. You may even wish to imagine Plexiglas over the booth's opening, protecting you.

3. Now, watch protected in the projection booth, as the other you in the movie theatre watches a black and white movie of a younger you going through the entire relationship, the good, the bad, from the first meeting to the end. Watch the whole event, starting before the beginning to the end. Observe until you are beyond the end of it, when everything was OK again.

If you are not fully detached, make the theater screen smaller and farther away. Now make the picture grainier and stop and start the film so that when you're done viewing it, you're completely detached. End the movie after the relationship event, with a freeze frame of yourself.

4. Next, leave the projection booth and slip back into the present you in the theater seat. Step into the freeze photo of the younger you, who is feeling OK again, at the movie's end. This is "double dissociation." Now, run the entire movie of that relationship backwards in color, taking two seconds or less to do so. Be sure to go all the way back to before the beginning. See, hear, and feel everything going backwards in those two seconds or less. Add some circus music, you may want to see your ex-partner with a clown nose, and feet.

5. Repeat this process 2 to 3 times.

6. Now bring up a collage of all the negative times you had with this person. Be honest, all the hurts and slights should be here.

7. Let this fade away into your past.

8. Now bring up an image of this person, and notice all of the connections you have with this person. You may notice cords of light, or energy strings. Pay attention to all the connections. Head to head, heart to heart, sex to sex, spirit to spirit. In whatever way is right for you, cut the cords. You may want to use a silver sword, or special scissors. Once you have cut the cords, reattach them to yourself, and let other person reattach theirs to him/her. Release that person to find his/her highest good, as you release your self.

To test the process, attempt to return to the bad feeling state in any way you can. What if you were faced with that person now? If you still get a negative response, repeat the steps 1 to 8 exactly, but faster each time, until none of the phobic response remains. Thank your higher-self for helping and get on with your life. P>We hope you will find this technique/process useful....especially now in this holiday season. May you and yours have a safe and happy holiday.

[Terri R.]

The National Guild of Hypnotists: http://ngh.net/

Hypnosis International Board of Registration: http://hypnodyne.com/membership.html

The American Board of Hypnotherapy: http://www.hypnosis.com/abh/abh.html