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Confessions from a travel agent working with the US Congress:


I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat on
the airplane so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
window.

I got a call from a Candidate's Staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information. She interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look
stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her
look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ..(click).

A Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He
said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied,
"Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin
state!!!"

I got a call from a Lawmakers Wife who asked, "Is it possible
to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so
close on the map."

An Aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if they
could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed
they only had a
1-hour lay-over in Dallas.. When I asked him why he wanted to
rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need
a car to drive between the gates to save time."

An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know
how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 am and got
into Chicago at 8:33 am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour
ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time
zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought
that!

A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to
who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked
in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm
overweight, I think that is very rude!" After putting her on hold for a
minute while I "looked into it"
(I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city
code for Fresno, CA is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a
destination tag on her luggage.

A Lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
FL. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if
she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah,
whatever!!"

A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents
he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to
China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked
and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said,
"Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted
my American Express!"

A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want
to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." The agent was at a loss for
words. Finally, the agent asked, "Are you sure that's the name of the
town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some
searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The
lady retorted, "Oh don't be silly! Everyone! knows where it is. Check
your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The Congresswoman replied,
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal.

Now you know why the government is in the shape that it's in!