Alternative Therapies

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FROM ONE SENIOR CITIZEN TO ANOTHER -- YES, IT'S COMIN'



TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:


An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car
has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation
to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the
brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay
calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in.

"Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
spam

FAMILY

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night
the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She
yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The
94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see."

She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to
her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as
soon as I see who's at the door."

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"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And! the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."

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LITTLE LADY:

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.

As she ran, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "idiot." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "idiot." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."

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OLD FRIENDS

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years,
they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their
activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Nowdon't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time.. but I just can'tthink of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three

minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
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SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I
just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on
Interstate 77.

Please be careful!"



"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

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DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely
see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an
intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The
woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the
light was red again. Again, they wen! t right through. The woman in
the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was
really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went
on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did
you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have
killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving?"

PLEASE TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!



SORRY TOO LATE

[FishBulb500]

What's really funny is that you posted this same thing on June 5, 2005. It's happening....

The one about the women who couldn't remember their own or each others' names was hilarious. I actually had that happen to me, kind of; I couldn't remember my own name for a few seconds one day, when asked!

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Oh crap!!!! It is happening....lol!!!!! But that was almost two months ago...gimme a break...lol!!!