HealingDeva.com

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Jokes to make you GROAN!!!

1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. A sandwich walks into
a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
beer please, and one for the road."

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"

8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."

9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I
was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said
Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either.

11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed,
is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a
look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his
teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What?
Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

13. Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are
five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or
my dad, or maybe my older brother Colin or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I'm pretty sure it's Colin.

14. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.

15. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are
too high."

16. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you
can't - I've cut off your arms!"

17. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in
the craft, it sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

[Terri R.]

GGRROOOoooaannnnnnn

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I second that grooooooaaaaaaaannnnnnnn....lol!!!!!

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Two fish were in a tank



One says "I'll man the gun, you drive"



Garry

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oh man.....groooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaan
Hiya Garry! Glad to see that you are back with us and that you have brought the kids too They are adorable, seems like only yesterday when you announced the birth of your first one.